My Journey of Self-Awakening and Transformation
Throughout my life, I've experienced several periods of awakening and transformation, moments when I realized that I needed to make significant changes to align my life with my true desires. These turning points were crucial in shaping the person I am today.
The First Come-to-Jesus Moment
My first significant realization came when I met a woman who would become my girlfriend. Raised with immense parental pressure to follow in their footsteps, I felt a deep conflict between my parent's vision and my own dreams. Initially, I followed their path—getting an MBA and exceling in a corporate career.
Despite my natural motivation and tenacity, my corporate life took a toll on my mental peace. My spirit for creativity never withered, but it was stifled by my obligations. A co-worker introduced me to cocaine to cope with the stress, leading to a downward spiral in my personal and professional life.
The relationship turmoil further exacerbated my struggles. I lacked genuine connection with my parents, feeling constantly disappointed. In relationships, I sought validation, only to be let down repeatedly. The rawest period was when I ended up in an abusive relationship, a period marked by intense self-reflection and growth.
The Second Come-to-Jesus Moment
After my tumultuous relationship, I found someone sweet and supportive who encouraged my creative pursuits. Despite lingering expectations from my parents, I persisted in both the corporate world and my artistic endeavors. Our relationship deepened, and we eventually decided to move overseas, together.
Tragedy struck when my parents died in a car accident. This event was a turning point that forced me to reevaluate my priorities and life choices. Realizing that I had lived too much for others' expectations, I took the bold step to start my own consultancy business, leaving my corporate career behind.
Leaning into Authenticity
Living the life I wanted was not an easy path. Relationships and responsibilities presented numerous challenges, including two miscarriages. However, through these trials, I encountered true friendships and support. The move to a new country was bittersweet, leading to the end of my relationship.
Now, at forty-five, I reflect on my journey with a mix of frustration and gratitude. It has been an intense learning process, teaching me self-awareness and personal growth. I am moving home, hoping to embrace a new chapter with a clearer mind and a deeper sense of purpose. I am looking forward to rebuilding my life with someone who has been a constant in my journey.