Why Does My Classmate Message Me Online But Completely Ignore Me in Real Life?
Hi there! I am currently experiencing this. I don't have the best advice right now but I hope that sharing this experience will be of value to you or someone out there.
I know someone in real life who is a girl and I am also a girl. I don't want to give too much context on how we know each other or anything like that but I will say we work together and go to the same university, and she is graduating soon. We used to talk a lot and genuinely enjoyed being around each other.
It seems like I'm not alone in facing this challenge. Many of us find ourselves in situations where our online communication thrives but our in-person interactions feel cold and distant. This phenomenon can be particularly frustrating and isolating. Here, I'll share some insights and steps you can take to address this issue.
The Elephant in the Room: Personal and Professional Relationships
There can be several reasons why a person might be more comfortable communicating online but feels reluctant to engage in person. For instance, personal discomfort, past experiences, or even fear of confrontation can contribute to this behavior. In a professional setting, work-related stress or simply differing communication styles can also play a role.
Steps to Take
Here are some steps you can take to foster a healthier in-person relationship:
1. Encourage Yourself to Confront Them
Politely address the issue with your classmate. You could say something like, 'Hi [Name], I noticed that we haven't spoken much in person lately. Is everything okay? I value our friendship and would hate for there to be any misunderstanding between us.'
2. Communicate Effectively
When you do bring up the topic, make sure to communicate openly and honestly without putting blame or judgment. Emphasize that you value the relationship and are seeking to understand their perspective. For instance, 'I understand that times can be busy and it might feel uncomfortable to suddenly reach out in person. I just wanted to check in and see if you're okay.'
3. Respect Their Boundaries
It's essential to respect any boundaries your classmate sets. If they express a need for space, allow it. While maintaining your own emotional wellbeing, acknowledge their feelings and assure them of your support.
4. Focus on Self-Care
It's important to take care of yourself during this time. Self-care can involve many things, from engaging in hobbies and interests to seeking support from friends or a therapist. Remember, your emotional wellbeing is crucial.
5. Seek Professional Advice
If you feel the need for more guidance, consider consulting a professional. A therapist or counselor can provide valuable insights and support. They can help you navigate your feelings and provide strategies for managing the situation.
Conclusion
It's okay to feel sad and worried about these situations, but don't lose hope. Open communication and a focus on self-care can help bridge the gap between online and in-person interactions. Remember, you're not alone in this, and many people have faced similar challenges. Stay resilient and kind to yourself as you navigate these complexities.