Navigating Tantrums: Strategies for Dealing with Emotionally Intense Behavior in Adult Dependents
Dealing with tantrums in adult dependents can be challenging, especially when it involves a highly emotional response to a seemingly minor issue. The phrase 'my 52-year-old son is having a massive tantrum because I forgot to buy him a Happy Meal from McDonalds' highlights a common but frustrating scenario.
Understanding the Root of Tantrums
The fallacy in the comment suggesting to take the son back to Chick-fil-A or buy him a milkshake is based on the assumption that a grown adult should not be satisfied with a Happy Meal. Grown adults should be able to handle life's minor inconveniences without a major emotional reaction. However, the emotional intelligence and control required to manage such situations often need to be learned and practiced.
According to the comment, children often tantrum because they have been trained to do so. They learn that displaying intense emotion can manipulate the situation to their favor, often for a preferred outcome. This conditional response is a learned behavior that can carry over into adulthood if not corrected.
Addressing Emotional Intensity
The key to addressing this behavior is in unlearning this conditional response. Once a person realizes that such behavior no longer yields the desired results, the tantrums will eventually subside.
A recommended approach involves explaining to the adult that their emotional response will not yield the desired outcome and ignoring the tantrum if possible. If the situation escalates, it is advisable to remove the adult from the public place and deal with the situation privately. Over time, by consistently ignoring these behaviors, the individual will learn that emotional intensity does not give them the desired result.
Resources for Support
For parents or caregivers dealing with such situations, the book Children the Challenge by Rudolf Dreikurs is a valuable resource. Even though it is primarily written for parents of young children, its principles of logical consequences and emotional regulation can be applied to adults. This book offers a methodical approach to dealing with emotional outbursts and other challenging behaviors.
Legal and Professional Intervention
In more severe cases, if the behavior is unmanageable or if the individual requires legal intervention, considering professional counseling or legal action might be necessary. Initiating a Restraining Order to keep a tantruming individual away from one's home could be a practical step. For individuals with special needs, professional advice from social workers, psychologists, or legal professionals can provide guidance on the best course of action.
Conclusion
Managing emotionally intense behavior in adult dependents is a challenging task. However, with the right strategies and resources, it is possible to help these individuals develop more balanced and rational responses to life's challenges. Seeking support from professionals and continuous practice of emotional regulation techniques can lead to significant improvements.