Parental Wisdom: Reflections on Respecting and Rejecting

Often, as children, we listen to our parents and follow their advice without question. But as we grow older, we start to question their wisdom and realize that sometimes, they may have been right all along. This journey of realization is an important part of personal growth.

The Myth of Parental Infallibility

I was not always aware that my parents were mostly right. In my younger years, I remember instances where I couldn't remember things being stated explicitly, but I believe I knew when to be quiet and not argue the point. However, soon after I started work, I noticed a significant change. My father, much to my surprise, seemed to know more about the "facts" than I did, even though I was dealing with it every day. It appeared pointless to argue with what seemed like obvious truths to a senior figure in my life.

Aging and Understanding

Reflecting back, the fact that my parents were wrong isn't shocking. As I've aged, I've started to understand why they were often wrong, particularly when it came to issues like homophobia, sexism, and racism. The level of internalized misogyny my mother expressed towards herself and me as her only daughter took years for me to overcome. More distressingly, I discovered that my father encouraged my mother's abuse towards me to avoid dealing with her anger and self-hatred. Living in a world my parents created made me glad I managed to escape it relatively unscathed.

The Realization of Parental Wisdom

Looking back, it seems clear that my parents were almost always right. When I was younger, I assumed that, since they were older, they knew more than I did. If we disagreed about something, I assumed they were probably right and I was wrong. But now, as an adult, I can say that definitely, my parents were almost always right.

The Moment of Self-Realization

A particularly significant moment came when my friends left me except for one when needed, blamed me for everything I heard, and fought over everything. It was then I realized that my parents had been right all along. I was the one who didn't trust what they said. They always cautioned against falling into the trap of friends who would use you, advising me to stay busy with my own commitments. My friend circle, which had grown, was more toxic than supportive. I found myself running after others to grow my friend circle, when I should have been focusing on my own growth and talents.

I remember helping friends when they needed me but not receiving any help when I needed it. Reflecting on this, I admit that I tolerated a lot. I regret running behind others, being their ox. Now, I cherish my talents, play with them, and chat as little as possible. I don't care what they think; I'm in my own world.

Lessons for Today

Let's explore all that we have. Stay busy with our talents, whether we have found them or not. Don't waste time with people who will energize us negatively. Go explore ourselves. If someone believes in lies about you before hearing your side of the story, they’re already looking for a way to be against you. Trust those who support and encourage you, and maintain distance from those who detract from your growth. Only then can we truly grow and thrive.