Strategies for Addressing Rude Behavior from a Manager: When Yelling Is a Habit

It can be uncomfortable when a manager calls or addresses you in a way that feels rude. Managers may develop habits that can affect their team's well-being and productivity. Here are some strategies to address such situations effectively and constructively.

Communicate Directly

One of the most effective ways to address such behavior is by talking directly to your manager. Choose a private moment and approach the conversation with respect and clarity. You might say something like, 'I understand that you're trying to get my attention, but shouting my name in the office can make me feel uncomfortable. I think it would be better if we could find another way to communicate effectively.'

Use Humor (if appropriate)

If your workplace culture allows for it, you can use humor to address the situation. By adding a light-hearted touch, you might make your manager more receptive to your concerns. For example, you could say, 'I hope you don’t mean to call a dog! It sounds like you just need to text me or use the phone, right?' It’s important to maintain a respectful and professional tone, even when using humor.

Set an Example

Another approach is to model the behavior you’d like to see. When you need to call someone, use a calm tone or send a message instead of shouting. If managers see that it is possible to communicate professionally and respectfully, they are more likely to emulate this behavior.

Seek Feedback

If you have a good relationship with your manager, you might ask for feedback on how you communicate with your team. This can initiate a dialogue about communication styles and potentially address the issue more openly. You could say, 'Maybe we could both think about how we communicate with each other to ensure it's both effective and comfortable for everyone involved.'

Talk to HR (if necessary)

If the behavior continues and you feel uncomfortable addressing it directly, consider discussing it with HR. HR can provide guidance, mediate the situation, or even help resolve underlying issues. It’s important to be tactful and provide specific examples of the behavior you are concerned about.

Document Incidents (if needed)

Keeping a record of instances when this happens can be helpful if you decide to escalate the issue to higher management or HR. Specific examples can provide concrete evidence to support your concerns.

Remember, choosing the approach that best fits your workplace environment and your relationship with your manager is crucial. Being direct but respectful is often the most effective way to address such concerns.

One person decided to take a more assertive stance, setting boundaries and ignoring the behavior until the manager learned. They acted like they couldn’t hear the manager and played it cool. When that didn't work, they escalated to a more extreme measure, but the outcome was effective. The manager realized the behavior was inappropriate and changed their approach.

Lessons Learned

From this experience, we learn that sometimes, direct and assertive communication is necessary, but it should always be done with respect. If initial direct communication doesn’t work, document the behavior and seek further help from HR if needed.

Conclusion

Effective communication is crucial in any workplace. By addressing rude behavior proactively and constructively, you can improve the work environment and foster better relationships with your colleagues and superiors.